Update

WOW!! I forgot about this!! I guess I should mention that I got a BFP!!

Lydia is now 2 (born June 1, 2007)

Also, she has a "surprise" baby brother, Luke, born on March 20, 2009.

I have started a new blog, so come visit by click on the title "update" above.  I guess I better learn how to add a link in my posts, huh?

God Bless,
Jen

Long time, no talk

Well, what can I say. I haven't had much to say lately.

I am in the 2ww again. We just did IVF #3- I can't believe I am saying that. That those words are coming from MY mouth!! Last Thursday, September 21, 2006, I had 3 precious little embryos put inside of me. Below is a picture of them- 2 of them are grade 2 with 8 cells and one is grade 2 with 6 cells.



I am praying that they make it. I have been feeling crampy and constipated for the past few days, I am hoping that it doesn't interfere with ym little guys growing.

Let's see, maybe I should give a recap of what's been going on since my last post in July. We had a nice time in NC the first week of August untill we got a call from Paddy saying Figi was in the hospital. Rob and I left 2 days early and I nursed her back to good health. I finished my class training at Solutions and also my PACE bible study, which was a HUGE help. I start my in house training this week. I'm excited about being part of the ministry there. I just have to keep praying for Gos's guidance. At work, they have asked me to be the "Customer Service" trainer and also the Benefits person. I am excited about it, but feel it is bad timing b/c of possibly being pregnant- do I NEED that stress? BUT it is also a great opportunity. Rob has signed a deal to make all kinds of videos for NEMF- which is great news. I started my last year of Bible Study Fellowship this year, we are doing Romans ans this is my 2nd week. I think that is it. Oh and my parents are probably going to be moving away in January which sucks!!

We go in on Monday October 2nd to see if we are pregnant. Oh please God. I have much more peace this time. I don't have that ball of fear in me. I am just trusting God. It's out of my hands. All I can do is try to relax and pray to Gos that it is His will for me to be pregnant. I feel like I have to be, that I can't go through the hurt and pain of a miscarraige again or a negative test. But that is a possibility.

I am going to put my hand on my tummy where my 3 little ones are on pray on God's word which remind me that God has a plan for the babies in me:

ISAIAH 46:3
"Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

JEREMIAH 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

PSALM 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

LUKE 1:41-44
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a
loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so
favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the
baby in my womb leaped for joy.

I'm barely diabetic (well....)

Dr. Nassberg lowered my insulin requirements again. Right now, I think I'm on the lowest dose since I was diagnosed.

Breakfast: 2 NPH, 3 Novolog
No Lunch insulin
Dinner: 3 NNovolog
Bedtime: 6 NPH

I'm sure that won't last long since I'll have to starve myself to have decent numbers, but in a way it feels nice to not have to give a lot of insulin. I think my 30 minutes a night on the treadmill is really helping and I'm trying not to have a million almonds before bed.

Fran called from Dr. Z's office today. She said since I got my period on Friday I can start birth control pills tomorrow or since I wanted to wait she said I could as long as I start them by Aug 9th. I should be good to go. Who knows, maybe Rob and I can get pregnant naturally this month like the rest of the world. That would be nice!!

hanging in

I can't believe the summer is flying by so fast! Here we are in the 2nd week of July and it seems like the summer just started. We dont even have tomatoes yet and I haven't managed to get a sunburn. Actually, I did a little today. It was the first time all year when Rob and I just did nothing. We went to church and then came home and hung out by the pool. I worked on my bible study for the PACE program and Rob did the crossroad and then went in to watch the world cup finals- Yeah Italy!! The bible studdy was hard today. Emotionally hard, asking questions abut the abortion and stuff. Brought up lots of emotions, which is good to deal with and today was nice to be alone to feel and cry. Our pool is beautiful- I feel so blessed and happy when I'm out there. I hope we never have to move and can afford eventually to add on to our house.

Stew came out to visit this weekend. It was nice to see him, but I feel bad for him. I wonder if he will ever settle down and get married. Is he gay? Interesting that the sermon this morning was from 1 Pet 4:1-6 and part of it was about our past and how we used to live and would not want to go back. I would not want to go back to my old life. I'm so thankful for where I am now. But I think of Stew and where he is and I wonder if he wants more. I know it is hard for him to except that I am a Christian. He always asks and then say "are you born again?" I say yes every time, like does he expect me to have changed my mind at some point? I find it amazing that of all of his close friends- all of us who used to party big time- 3 of us are born again Christians. I don't think that is an accident.

OK, I'm a stalker. I just went up to make coffee and I saw Kat- the girl across the street- outside and she had a belly. So, I turn off the lights and out my glasses on so I can see and I swear she is pregnant. Even Rob said "she looks fat or pregnant, I think she''s pregnant". I'm surprised he didn't find it odd that I am hiding behind the curtain in the dark staring at my neighbor. I guess he is used to me by now. In a way, I guess I should be happy that my 2 neighbors are expecting. I am, but it will be hard if this IVF cycle doesn't work out in Sept. I hope it does.

Well, time to eat my cannolli and watch a movie.

Another set back...

Fran, the nurse from the RE's office, finally called back today. Rob's blood work came back fine which is good, but mine showed positive for some kind of blood clotting thing which can cause miscarriages. So, the IVF next cycle I will have to take baby aspirin until I get pregnant and then I have to take some kind of shot- Lovetex or something so I I get blood to the baby.

Then, she told him that we are going to be doing our cycle in September since they are remodeling. I'm so discouraged, I guess I'm just sad. This road is so hard. I just want to have a baby, why does it have to be so hard? I wish I was normal. I'm so jealous of people who just get to have sex and make a baby. I feel like such a failure and my heart is broken. I am just going to rely on God to comfort me and trust in Him. That is all I have.

Good things are happening, too. Rob has booked 2 commercials (American Home Mortgage and Office Depot) and now his Pizza Hut commercial is FINALLY airing and they just sent him another check b/c they are going to edit it to make another commercial. Praise God!

Florida Trip

Had a great time in Florida with Rob and my parents. Their house is really pretty, it's nice to know we always have that as an option. We got to see out good friends Paul and Samantha who just moved to Jacksonville the last week in May. They were our first friends in NJ, it was so good to see them. Man I miss them!!

HERE WE ARE OUT TO EAT WITH PAUL, SAMANTHA, MOM AND DAD

HERE I AM WITH SAMANTHA

ME AND ROB AT THE BEACH


Rob called our neighbors, Vinnie and Roxanne, to see if they would check on the cats and she told Rob she is 8 weeks pregnant. She asked if we were going to start trying.... if she only knew!! I'd love to have a baby around the same age as hers so they can go to school together. That would be so cool.

My new neice

Here she is..... Annika Mable Getz!!!!