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Location: New Jersey, United States

Sunday, July 09, 2006

hanging in

I can't believe the summer is flying by so fast! Here we are in the 2nd week of July and it seems like the summer just started. We dont even have tomatoes yet and I haven't managed to get a sunburn. Actually, I did a little today. It was the first time all year when Rob and I just did nothing. We went to church and then came home and hung out by the pool. I worked on my bible study for the PACE program and Rob did the crossroad and then went in to watch the world cup finals- Yeah Italy!! The bible studdy was hard today. Emotionally hard, asking questions abut the abortion and stuff. Brought up lots of emotions, which is good to deal with and today was nice to be alone to feel and cry. Our pool is beautiful- I feel so blessed and happy when I'm out there. I hope we never have to move and can afford eventually to add on to our house.

Stew came out to visit this weekend. It was nice to see him, but I feel bad for him. I wonder if he will ever settle down and get married. Is he gay? Interesting that the sermon this morning was from 1 Pet 4:1-6 and part of it was about our past and how we used to live and would not want to go back. I would not want to go back to my old life. I'm so thankful for where I am now. But I think of Stew and where he is and I wonder if he wants more. I know it is hard for him to except that I am a Christian. He always asks and then say "are you born again?" I say yes every time, like does he expect me to have changed my mind at some point? I find it amazing that of all of his close friends- all of us who used to party big time- 3 of us are born again Christians. I don't think that is an accident.

OK, I'm a stalker. I just went up to make coffee and I saw Kat- the girl across the street- outside and she had a belly. So, I turn off the lights and out my glasses on so I can see and I swear she is pregnant. Even Rob said "she looks fat or pregnant, I think she''s pregnant". I'm surprised he didn't find it odd that I am hiding behind the curtain in the dark staring at my neighbor. I guess he is used to me by now. In a way, I guess I should be happy that my 2 neighbors are expecting. I am, but it will be hard if this IVF cycle doesn't work out in Sept. I hope it does.

Well, time to eat my cannolli and watch a movie.

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