Sharing Day

Today was out last day of bible study. We had our sharing day where we all get together and people can stand up and share how the bible study has worked in their lives this year. I am so touched by all of the stories. It was a great day. My heart was pounding and I didn't want to get up and speak, but I did. As soon as I stood up, my legs felt like rubber and so did my arms I could barely hold the microphone and I was shaking. Of course, I start crying before I can get 2 words out of my mouth. I mainly shared how awesome i thought it was that each year of bible study, I feel like the lesson is directed right to my life. This year, at least for the 1st half was all about Abraham waiting for God's promise of a seed, a son. He had to wait so long. Each week I would leave so renewed and encouraged by God's word and His promises. Then not only Abraham, but then Isaac had to wait and later Jacob and Rebekah.

It is so awesome how the bible is timeless and you can apply the principles even today. We studied about how to be content in our circumstances, something I WAS NOT since becoming a Diabetic and also dealing with infertility. I have realized that I have a great life and family, I have so much to be grateful for. Life was happening all around me and I was just to obsessed with getting pregnant to realize it. I was bitter, angry, resentful and I feel like I was missing out on quality time with Rob, my friends and family. I was just focused on me, me me!! We also learned how God will provide, we just need to put our trust in Him (easier said than done, but I am working on this). I was reminded that being obedient often times leads to trials and difficulties, but in the end we are always blessed. Without TESTS, there is no TESTIMONY. It helps to know that God has a bigger and better plan than me, which I am so thankful for b/c me imagination is limited. Someone said that we live with our noses pushed up against the tapestry and we can't see it, but when we step back, we see how beautiful it is. i guess that is how it is with God's plan for our lives. We don't always understand it, but when we put it all together, it makes sense it is perfect.

I have no idea what else I said, but as I was looking around the room as i was speaking, I could see everyone wiping their eyes and crying with me. What a great group of women. After people I didn't even know came up to me and were being so supportive. I was truly blessed today. One of them recommended a book about dealing with infertilty called "Water from the Rock". I will have to check it out. After class, my group came back to our house for lunch. They all loved our house and the pool and we had a great time. I have been sad ever since, but I know each year, I am blessed by my teacher and group. Next year is Romans, my last year f BSF!! I can't believe I have stuck with this for so long- 6 years so far. I never stick with anything and here I am almost done. YEAH!!! For the past few years I have hoped that on sharing day, I can share good news of being pregnant to my class, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I feel like I really should be doing this training for Solutions Pregnancy Center. I think that will be a great blessing. I am excited and nervous. I still have't asked work if I can have Tuesdays off for the next month and a week, but I think they will be ok.

Well, I should go to bed. I was so happy that Taylor won American Idol- I like him, he is original and very talented. I did a OPK test yesterday and today, I figured I might as well try naturally while we are waiting for our next IVF cycle. Last night there was a faint line and tonight- nothing. I wonder if i missed the boat. Technically I don't know if last weekend was a period or a miscarriage. Whatever!! The new me is trusting God. I'm so excited the pool is open now and it is getting warm out!! OK, I am way late for bed.