Jumped the gun

Nothing like checking my email, minding my own business and getting an email from "My Pregnancy This Week- 6 weeks". Talk about a knife in the heart. Not only do I have to erase it, I have to go to the website and edit my profile to remove my EDD of Jan 9, 2007. Then all of this info on miscarriages pops up. I guess they try.

I am feeling better today, a little sad now and then, but better. I felt bad for Rob, when I got home from work, he was sitting on our side steps by the kitchen door, he looked so down. He said he is so sad and he was crying. He feels so bad about himself and then he doesn't know what to do with his career and then we can't get pregnant. I feel terrible. I know I cry and vent here, but I get it off my chest and bounce back so fast. I am a drama queen, but with him, it is so sad and it takes him days, weeks to get better and what do I say. I hate to hear him say things like "why are you with me?", he makes me so happy and I love him so much. What do I do? Pray Pray Pray!!!

Last night I noticed the lump in Figi's back is getting bigger, so it didn't help during Gray's Anatomy to see them have to put their dog down. I would die if I had to do that, she is such a saint, even though she is barking at me as I type and it is driving me crazy. Then she threw up all over the place before bed and kept crying, so I stayed up with her. I'm taking her to the vet on SAT.

Tomorrow is my last lesson for bible study and then the next week we have sharing day. I was so hoping to be able to share my good news (I have been waiting for over 2 years to share this good news) but this year would have been nice since we did Genesis all year and so many of the people couldn't have children, they were waiting on God's timing and trusting in His promises. That is what I can share, I guess. I know I have sounded down lately, but I don't mention enough how God has carried me through this and given me peace. I know He will give us a child, He has a plan for me and I have just been to obsessed with getting pregnant to see it. I guess it is good to be stripped down emotionally and have to rely fully on God. He always has a much better plan than me, why do I resist for so long?

I'm excited to be starting the training for the pregnancy center, too. I have felt called to do that for so long. Maybe I would have skipped it if I was pregnant.

My blood sugars have been so high all day:
Woke up 177
Lunch 188
After lunch 151
Before Dinner 141

And I have been hooking myself up with insulin, too. Sometimes, ok most of the time, I just don't get it!!!

Here is a picture of me about 10 minutes after we got the BFP call. At least I have a picture of the good memory....