Back to square one

I survived Mother's Day weekend. I feel bad that we didn't celebrate with my family, but my mom insisted that they were all bummed and didn't feel like doing anything. I had to teach the 2 year olds at church for the 1st time and had no help! Like 20 2 year olds coming and going at different times, it was a mess. Not like BSF or my old church where everything was so organized. I feel like I want to help out, but that was a nightmare. I guess it was better than sitting in church wacthing all the moms stand up and get flowers and cheers while I am bleeding heavily and cramping. I still can't beleive this happened. I keep having flashes of our joyous moment and it breaks my heart. I was patient for like a day and now all I can think about is starting over again. Our next cycle, hopefuly in July, but with the way things go for me, it will be August or Sept.

I am looking forward to having some quality time with DH at least. I love him so much and he has been so good to me through all of this. The other night we BD'd for the first time in so long b/c we weren't able to after the IVF and it was amazing being with him and just enjoying each other. I feel like we have been so focused on Diabetes and TTC for the past 2 years, maybe it is time for us to just enjoy each other and see what happens. I know I have not been pleasant to be around, poor guy. When he told me I was pregnant, I had never seen him so happy and he was the whole time I was. I am going to cling to that with all I have and trust that will happen again very soon.