With Six You Do Not Get Egg Roll

It's almost official...we are going to switch over to an IUI cycle. Just got home from Dr. Z's office, this time I got the man himself. He went over my sucky E2 levels:

Stim Day 3: 28
Stim Day 6: 118
Stim Day 8: I find out later on today, not expecting much

Then he did the ultrasound and saw 3 follicles on the right and 3 on the left. He said that we will probably switch this over to an IUI cycle b/c we want to make sure we have optimal eggs for IVF. I got a nice pat on the knee and the head tilt with the facial expression like the "Debbie Downer" on SNL, so I got the message. I tried to hold on the tears as I left, making sure I cracked a joke to all of the swollen bellied probably have 20 huge follicles and great E2 levels ladies in the waiting room. Then I walked through the rain, stepped in a puddle, got in my car, put the seat down and cried. Not as bad as Thursday when I first found out the cycle may be cancelled, but it still sucked.

I feel better now, I want to cry b/c I feel I should, but I can't. I feel a little relieved, actually. Guess that means my E2 levels aren't high or I'd be a wreck with all of the hormomes. Maybe I'm a man, I do have a little moustache, but I was told that was b/c I'm half Italian. OK, I don't have an actual moustache, I will put a picture on here to prove I'm not a scary Bearded Lady or something. I wonder if I can get pictures on here. I'll try that, so I can feel like today wasn't a total waste. Man, my mind jumps from one thought to another.



Hey!!! It worked. I'm the one on the right, see I am a girl. The guy with me is Rob, my husband, isn't he so cute?? I love that guy. Don't we look happy there? That was right before we started all of this IVF stuff..see the hope in our eyes?

Then there's now...



Notice, we are smiling, but just for the camera, it's been a rough road.



But here I am with my neices. I'm the cool aunt, the one with no kids, no responsibilties. I'm hip, fun, always good for a laugh.

Ok, I sound bitter. I'm not actually, but I am allowed to be a little down in the dumps today, right? I was earlier, but it's passing. Time to let God take the wheel, His way is always better. I always try to do it on my own and then I fall. Then He picks me up and carries me to where I need to be. This week in BSF, I was reminded that God is my Shield. That will be my thought for the rest of the week. It's so easy to know in my head, but so hard to live.

Well, better rest up before I go and babysit the little angels in the picture above.