Flash forward to IVF: Day 8 of stimming
Well, this week has been hard. Many highs and lows, not unlike the past 4 months of fertility treatment.
We started off this process all "gung-ho". We would do 50mg Clomid with IUI in September and it would be a piece of cake, we'd laugh about it some day. Ah, those hopes were dashed quickly that morning of the IUI when Dr. Z came in and without even batting an eyelash says "This is not likely to work, I've left the IVF packet at the front desk for you" OUCH!! We went ahead and tried a second IUI while we were waiting for the big IVF meeting. We were going to prove him wrong! Or not. Score: 2 highs, 2 lows.
So, we finally accept IVF is what is will be (have to be). I get a tentative protocol
BCP 11/13-12/20
Start Lupron 12/22
Start stimming on 12/27
ER & ET week of JAN 9-13th
(excuse the IVF lingo, it has become part of my daily dialogue and 80 % of the fertile world has no clue what I'm saying. )
So, like a good student, I start my BCP's, all excited that the process is FINALLY starting. Then the Dr. Z's office calls and they are giving me my protocol, but this time everything is a week off, as in later...another week of waiting!! Guess Dr. Z had to squeeze in a vacation, God knows he can afford it as much as IVF costs. Well, I have insurance that covers it, but anyway, it still was a dissappointment since I was all mentally prepared for the 2nd week in January. Score: 3 highs, 3 lows, but the lows seem much bigger than the highs. Kind of like my Diabetes, but that is another story.
Flash forward to Thursday 1/12, day 7 of my stimming. I go in for my bloodwork and ultrasound and the nurse tells me they may have to cancel my cycle if I don't get a huge jump in my estrogen level and have a good number of follicles they can see in the ultrasound. She goes on and on about what we will do when they end the cycle...blah blah blah. I left very down, feeling that this past week of additional shots was in vain. I guess it's not just male factor, it my sucky egg quality that is bringing us down. Score: highs 2, lows 3
I get a call from Rob, saying the doctor's office called and my estrogen levels had jumped from 28-118 and I had 2 follicles on the right ovary and 2 on the left. They said to go ahead and come in on Saturday for another ultrasound and more tests. Score tied 3-3.
OK, I won't continue with the scoring b/c I will forget and the lows are much more frequent than the highs. I am going to all of the "High Tech Method for Getting Pregnant" boards on Babycenter.com reading about all these other women's cycles and the majority have very high levels of estrogen and like 15 follicles. The one person like me with low E2 levels and only a few follicles got a BFN, that's a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! It feels good to vent, even though I don't normally write like this. I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow.
Oh, in case I forget to ever say this, since we have been trying to conceive, here the pregnancies surrounding us of people that all started way after we started TTC, not to mention every celebrity and their dog-literally probably, gross.
cousin-had baby in July
best friend-had baby in AUG
sister-due in April
Rob's sister-due in June
cousin-due in June
Rob's best friend-due in June
another great friend-due in August
I'm sure I'm forgetting more
Not to mention all the people at work. I assume every call will be an announcement of a future baby. Yes, I'm jealous and it's hard to hear "We tried once and it didn't happen, we were so crushed, but thank God it worked the second try! " The plus side, our kids will have lots of cousisn and buddies to hang out with. I'm really a good person, this is just very hard, something I never thought I would be going through!
Oh and did I mention that today is my 1 year anniversary of being Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes? The beginning of the end, D-Day! The day the music died. No more bags of sour gummy worms with a sour skittle chaser. Who the heck gets Juvenile Diabetes at 32 anyway?
We started off this process all "gung-ho". We would do 50mg Clomid with IUI in September and it would be a piece of cake, we'd laugh about it some day. Ah, those hopes were dashed quickly that morning of the IUI when Dr. Z came in and without even batting an eyelash says "This is not likely to work, I've left the IVF packet at the front desk for you" OUCH!! We went ahead and tried a second IUI while we were waiting for the big IVF meeting. We were going to prove him wrong! Or not. Score: 2 highs, 2 lows.
So, we finally accept IVF is what is will be (have to be). I get a tentative protocol
BCP 11/13-12/20
Start Lupron 12/22
Start stimming on 12/27
ER & ET week of JAN 9-13th
(excuse the IVF lingo, it has become part of my daily dialogue and 80 % of the fertile world has no clue what I'm saying. )
So, like a good student, I start my BCP's, all excited that the process is FINALLY starting. Then the Dr. Z's office calls and they are giving me my protocol, but this time everything is a week off, as in later...another week of waiting!! Guess Dr. Z had to squeeze in a vacation, God knows he can afford it as much as IVF costs. Well, I have insurance that covers it, but anyway, it still was a dissappointment since I was all mentally prepared for the 2nd week in January. Score: 3 highs, 3 lows, but the lows seem much bigger than the highs. Kind of like my Diabetes, but that is another story.
Flash forward to Thursday 1/12, day 7 of my stimming. I go in for my bloodwork and ultrasound and the nurse tells me they may have to cancel my cycle if I don't get a huge jump in my estrogen level and have a good number of follicles they can see in the ultrasound. She goes on and on about what we will do when they end the cycle...blah blah blah. I left very down, feeling that this past week of additional shots was in vain. I guess it's not just male factor, it my sucky egg quality that is bringing us down. Score: highs 2, lows 3
I get a call from Rob, saying the doctor's office called and my estrogen levels had jumped from 28-118 and I had 2 follicles on the right ovary and 2 on the left. They said to go ahead and come in on Saturday for another ultrasound and more tests. Score tied 3-3.
OK, I won't continue with the scoring b/c I will forget and the lows are much more frequent than the highs. I am going to all of the "High Tech Method for Getting Pregnant" boards on Babycenter.com reading about all these other women's cycles and the majority have very high levels of estrogen and like 15 follicles. The one person like me with low E2 levels and only a few follicles got a BFN, that's a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! It feels good to vent, even though I don't normally write like this. I guess I'll see what happens tomorrow.
Oh, in case I forget to ever say this, since we have been trying to conceive, here the pregnancies surrounding us of people that all started way after we started TTC, not to mention every celebrity and their dog-literally probably, gross.
cousin-had baby in July
best friend-had baby in AUG
sister-due in April
Rob's sister-due in June
cousin-due in June
Rob's best friend-due in June
another great friend-due in August
I'm sure I'm forgetting more
Not to mention all the people at work. I assume every call will be an announcement of a future baby. Yes, I'm jealous and it's hard to hear "We tried once and it didn't happen, we were so crushed, but thank God it worked the second try! " The plus side, our kids will have lots of cousisn and buddies to hang out with. I'm really a good person, this is just very hard, something I never thought I would be going through!
Oh and did I mention that today is my 1 year anniversary of being Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes? The beginning of the end, D-Day! The day the music died. No more bags of sour gummy worms with a sour skittle chaser. Who the heck gets Juvenile Diabetes at 32 anyway?
posted by Jen | 6:10 PM
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